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Three's a Crowd

I just got back from a trip to Spain, Portugal and England with my two besties. It was a lot of fun but made me realize more than ever that three's a crowd, especially when it comes to me.

At the beginning of the trip, it was just two of us. And then a third joined. And while I'd say the trip was an overall success in terms of how well we all got along, that nagging and annoying voice in my head started making me see things that possibly weren't there. Two things happened that made me so sad and introspective that even a waiter who didn't speak anything but Portuguese noticed my sour mood - and commented on it:

1. My 2 friends were boy crazy, and I wasn't. I've never been the type of person to notice people around me by their attractiveness. Maybe this has to do with the possibility that I never liked men in the first place and I was just suppressing my attraction to women, but when I see my friends getting hot and bothered by a handsome stranger, I feel like the biggest weirdo on earth. Because I can't relate AT ALL.

2. I felt ganged up on. Emphasis on "felt", because I have no way of knowing my friends' true intentions. All I know is that when there's 2 people who agree on something that you don't agree on, it's hard not to feel like the odd man out. That's why three's a crowd...

I know I'm not an easy person to deal with - especially for 10 days straight. I talk a lot, I'm self-centered, self-deprecating and stubborn, so I give props to my friends for putting up with me. Still, no one is perfect, right? But the thing is, I didn't feel this way until our 2nd friend arrived. And it had nothing to do with that friend and everything to do with me. Who knows, maybe the friend who started the trip with me was dying to get rid of me. Maybe I'm just exagerating, though.

I don't regret a minute of the trip and I adore my friends and the time we spent together. Regardless, travelling in a group of 3 just probably isn't for me.

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