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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Should I stay or should I go now? Should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be trouble An' if I stay it will be double So come on and let me know

This famous “The Clash” song (which now reminds me of Stranger Things – BEST SHOW) pretty much sums my current mental debate. Here’s the thing; I live in a tiny island. It’s a beautiful island full of great people. I have a great apartment, nice car, decent salary, moderately fun job, and I’m surrounded by the best friends and family I gal could ask for. Ugh, I know, right? My life sounds like the WORST (sarcasm, duh). But even though I have everything I could have possibly wanted in life and more (except a relationship but that’s a whole other topic), I feel antsy.

I like my job. It’s challenging enough to keep me on my toes and it pays the bills well. But as I’ve mentioned before, it just isn’t my passion. Particularly because the industry is so different from what I’ve always worked in. And sometimes I realize I’m not proud of telling people what I do. It’s not that I’m not proud of the company. On the contrary, the company is what keeps me going. But telling people the industry I work in gets weird reactions. The latest: EW!. Yup, someone ‘ewe’d’ my job. And sometimes, I kind of feel like doing the same… (SORRY SORRY SORRY).

After mentoring a girl from my old high school last week and realizing how qualified I am for jobs in USA, the weekend was a restless one. Friday, I came home and all I did was apply to jobs in all my dream companies. I started imagining what life would be like if I was living in the cities where those jobs are. I started looking at apartments, budgeting and making plans, and as usual, I let my imagination get the best of me.

Then, on Saturday, my neighbor came over and mentioned this program called ‘Remote Year’ that a friend of hers just did. It’s a work abroad program where you do your job remotely for a year, every month from a different city. Amazing, right? So of course, I instantly applied and now I have an upcoming interview with them.

But here’s the thing… I am constantly debating if I should continue pursuing travel and career growth opportunities outside of my little island, or if I should stay put in my cute, comfortable life.

It’s been hard to concentrate this week at work. I can’t stop thinking about leaving, even as my life now seems more in order than ever. Maybe disorder fuels me? Or maybe I’m just hard to please. I just feel like I’m destined for bigger things, but am I willing to give up everything I have for what might or might not be out there?

Honestly, I’m totally in a Moana situation and I don’t have spirit grandma pushing me either way… just myself.

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