Life feels strange right now. My home just went through a huge catastrophe, and while many suffer without food and water, I’m sitting in an air-conditioned office, pretending that everything is normal because there’s work to do. It’s hard to go about life when things are so messed up on the outside. My life has barely been affected, but simultaneously it has been turned upside down.
Over the last weeks, communications have been down. Getting ahold of loved ones hasn’t been easy, and we’ve all resorted to old methods of communication; knocking on people’s doors. For about two weeks after the storm, we didn’t have internet or cell reception in my building. Nights were spent playing board games and having great conversations with neighbors. Bonds were forged and people’s true colors came out. I’ve been constantly surrounded by people; family, friends and neighbors, but for a minute, I felt alone. I felt the need for love even though I’ve probably never had a support system as big as the one I have now. So, I decided to fill my free time by reading rather than letting my thoughts consume me.
I began to read Jen Sincero’s “You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life”. I had the book in my reading list for a while now, but given how much TV I watch, I hadn’t had the time. Now, with unreliable WIFI, watching my shows isn’t an option. So, I purchased the book on Kindle and boy am I glad I did.
The book talks a lot about the universe, energy and manifestations, similarly to “The Secret”. A year ago, after realizing the huge stacks of magazines I had collecting dust in my house, I made a vision board. I put it up on my dresser and it’s the first thing I’ve looked at every morning since I made it. Some months ago, I began to realize that things in my board were coming true. I decided to trust the process and I gathered more magazines and added other wishes and goals to my vision board.
Reading Sincero’s book has made me re-evaluate how I relate to the universe and source energy. I’ve started praying. Though I grew up catholic, my spirituality has been lackluster in the last 10 years. In the past weeks, I’ve begun to pray to the universe. My prayers are like those I did as a child but without censorship, as I remember being afraid of asking god for things that were vane. My prayers to the universe aren’t constricted. And I’ve been incredibly surprised to find that I’m getting immediate answers and responses. Coincidences? Maybe… But I’m choosing to believe that the universe is responding.
Some examples:
1. I asked the universe to give me an immediate sign that looking for jobs outside of the island was the right choice. Immediately, a plane flew right in front of me.
2. I asked the universe for a sign that the girl I’m crushing on was meant to be in my life. Right after, when I logged onto Facebook, she has just commented for the first time in one of my posts.
There are other things I’m having a tough time getting clarity of, but I think I understand why. Sincero talks about decisions in the book. She believes that once you truly decide something it comes true. Looking back on my life, I understand the truth in that. Everything I’ve TRULY set my mind to, I’ve achieved. Those things that I’m uncertain of, like my career and my sexuality, remain stagnant. I now know that to move forward in those areas, I must remove the roadblocks impeding me from going for what I want, and DECIDE to move forward. To be continued…